| Millie has begun to
have some health problems that signal that the time is almost here for us to
part. She had some issues with urine retention and required a trip to the
vet recently. She retained a liter of urine and the usual interventions
didn't work. Pee is a beautiful sight for a DM
dog mother, and now we're back to baseline incontinence, LOL. It's not the
life I want for her as the visit caused her a lot of discomfort, which goes
against the goal of comfort measures in hospice care, so there will be no
more vet visits and I'm committed to managing her at home until the end now.
We're also having a few other issues. One is that she has developed some
ataxia in her front legs. Fairly subtle right now, but it appears that the
DM may be progressing. Still manageable though and not interfering with her
quality of life as Millie has many vehicle choices to get around.
Millie still seems to want to keep going right now, as she is eating all her
meals, drinking lots of water, chewing on her bones, and she's still a
hellion with the other dogs and cats. She's as perky as the day she arrived
18 months ago and requires only short naps around our daily adventures.
But it's really one day at a time right
now. We have one final goal at this point, what will probably be our final
adventure together. The GSRNE volunteer appreciation picnic is coming up a
week from Sunday in Hopkington, MA, on June 22. We often have a great
turnout, and I plan to be there with Millie, to feel the love and support
from our rescue family, before we venture across the bridge.
Millie recently went to Uxbridge, MA to
have a little picnic at a fellow volunteer's house; the person who took the
initial phone call from the shelter, and someone who feels an immense
attachment to Millie and wants to say her goodbyes personally and privately.
After that, it's life as usual, with daily adventures and lots of pampering,
with me by her side round-the-clock. She still does not seem to be in any
physical pain, although she now gets Metacam every day in case I'm wrong
about that. But before the picnic if I see her raising the white flag, I'll
be
escorting her to the Bridge.
As a cancer nurse, I routinely speak to my
patients and their families about celebrating life instead of grieving
death. So every time I find myself falling into the pity party trap here, I
climb back out with that thought. I won't talk about how hard this is,
preparing to let Millie go, because I know so many of you have been there
and understand that. And no matter how many seniors I take in and how often
I have to let one go, it never hurts any less.
So I want to move ahead through her final weeks and keep taking photos of
her enjoying life. Because essentially, this is hospice care for Millie, NOT
to help her die, but to help her LIVE, every day, and every hour, to the
fullest, as if it will be her last.
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Back in January, 2007, our hotline
coordinator, Jackie, received a call from a shelter in Rhode Island asking
if GSRNE could help with a senior who had been picked up many weeks prior.
She would be euthanized otherwise as the ACO hesitated to let her rot in the
shelter til she died. The rest, of course, is history.
Jackie has been keeping close tabs on Millie and so when she heard she was
slipping, she hoped for some personal time with her, and thus a trip to
Jackie's house yesterday.
She and her volunteer husband, Al, came out to greet us, including volunteer
Priscilla and her GSRNE dog, Tara.
Millie was placed on the queen's throne in the gazebo to await her visitors.
"Hello, everyone, I'd like you all to meet my very dear friend, Jackie."
"I really missed you, where ya been?"
"Oooo. You remembered my favorite treats."
"Let me know when you're ready for me to take it."
"Yup, got it."
"Ready for a repeat?"
"A little tuffer, but...but...YES, got this one too!"
"Owwwwwww."
"She got me right here."
"Sorry about that, Jackie. I'm a lot blinder than when you saw me last."
"Thirsty, yes. Good friends really know how to take care of each other."
"That also includes knowing when I'm hot and hungry and need to be moved
inside for lunch and air."
"Don't poop out yet, guys, we still have a ways to go."
"Mum, why is Tara staring at me, hasn't she ever seen a queen before?"
"Hey, auntie Jackie, want me to move over so you can jump in? I can order my
servants to stop for a moment."
"Hey, Taaaaraaaaaa. Hope you took notes. You'll be old someday, too, ya
know!"
"Oh, goody, auntie Jackie has the BEST doggie desert."
"I'm NOT a good sharer, Tara."
"And that was JUST the warning."
"That's good, go cry to your mother, because I don't DO pity parties."
"Such a great day, but now I'm so......zzzzzzzzzzzz"
************************************************************
"Last week, mom took me back to the vet
for help with urine retention."
"We weren't sure if I'd ever be coming home again, but the vet fixed me up
for a little more quality time."
"Since then, I've been a beach bum, as I still like to be included in all
activities with my family."
"You guys aren't trying to sneak up on Nannie Millie, are you?"
"Have we already forgotten the 5 foot personal space rule?!"
"Hey, just because I'm old doesn't mean I don't deserve RESPECT."
"OK, Nannie's ready for something dry and green now!"
"Much better."
"What another glorious day."
"Even this simple little weed smells like a fragrant flower today."
"I guess I'm just happy to still be here."
********************************************************
Periodically, mom gives me a bath in the
pool."
"She makes the water nice and sudsy in between grooming days."
"But most days the pool is used to just cool me down, especially during the
heat waves."
"Matsi, I'm sorry you feel left out but you're too big to fit in here."
"Mom told me this is definitely a pool designed for more slender dogs, like
ME."
"HOT today, eh Matsi?"
"Maybe you guys could 'try' a little rain dance?"
"But no way in h*ll I'm giving up my pool in this 90 degree weather."
"Oh, how I love being able to call all the shots at this point!"
"FINALLY, tucked in for the night.
zzzzzzzzz."
"Hmmm. Millie's asleep, boredom's setting in, NOW WHAT?"
"HUH?! Where did YOU come from?"
"Can you believe the odacity of this cat? Stepping into the QUEEN'S BED?!"
"I'm going to count to five. One...two...three...."
"...four and a half..."
"Dont forget, I still have two working paws and all my TEETH."
"She gets a little cranky when she's tired."
Millie's Final Lesson
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